


Never On Your Life

by daintily



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 11:59:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintily/pseuds/daintily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You hate Earth and you're not sure if you hate your roommates, but you can say that you hate Sollux Captor for sure. Platonically, in the you'd rather punch him in the face then kiss him. He's a completely irredeemable asshole, and nothing will change that opinion on that. Nothing. Ever. You're certain of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never On Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really, really belated gift for a Secret Santa exchange on Tumblr. (Nothing says writer's block like a busted laptop.) This isn't even finished, but I don't want to just offer up nothing. I plan on finishing it soon (but I have a feeling it might...span at least a few more chapters, haaah), and I want my giftee to know that I am working on their gift! (The giftee is radicalreds on tumblr, and I'm not sure if she has an AO3 account...)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it, and I hope you like how the rest of the story will go! And everyone else reading this, because I'm posting it on a public forum...

You’re not really sure why you thought this was going to be a good idea. Moving in with humans. The idea was just…It was just completely, totally, straight up fuckin’ insane. You were from complete different planets (in the most literal sense), had complete different point of views (which wasn’t quite as literal because that fuckin’ human was about the same height as you), and the very, very worst thing was that she was a stranger. 

But you were desperate and stupid and on this god forsaken planet you couldn’t just get by on your violet blood. Humans were strange and you had to work for you money, and the shitty job you landed while you studied wasn’t enough to afford a place on your own that was up to your very high standards. (Because humans had a stupid, shitty, convoluted sort of school feeding you still didn’t understand and you needed _degrees_ in shit in order to get a job half way to decent and it was just purely idiotic.) So you looked online, found another student at your university who wrote in a bright, bright lavender color which may or may not have been the only reason you replied to her post, and in a matter of weeks you were sharing an apartment with one Creative Writing major named Rose Lalonde. And her sister, Roxy, who wasn’t even on the goddamned lease but who still spent more time over with her precious little Rosey then at the small house she shared with people who you had absolutely no interest in meeting.

You had talked to Jake English once. That was one thing you never, ever wanted to do again. 

Anyways, back to the point. You were rooming with Rose Lalonde, who wasn’t really that bad. For a human. She was undeniably intelligent, unnervingly observant, and she had a sharp wit that would have destroyed you if you were a lesser troll. The only truly bad thing about the Lalondes was the company they kept. There were the cousins, Dave and Dirk Strider, who were okay if they weren’t talking, you had already mentioned Jake, who you actively avoided because he fuckin’ _laughed_ at you, and you were not fuckin’ okay with that, you would not stand being laughed at by lesser beings. The other humans were all various shades of dark hair and dark skin (human skin tones were at the same time disgusting and fascinating, this odd brown-yellow-peach rainbow that you would have never imagined), and they all had unfortunate teeth. What was the point of protruding teeth if they were just going to be the same blunt flatness that all human teeth were? 

You’re getting away from the point again, but you can’t help it. The trolls they socialize with, because of course there are trolls and of course they’re all five kinds of infuriating, are even worse than the humans. Well, okay, that’s a lie. Kanaya is pretty amazing, and Karkat is alright when he’s not screeching about quadrants and movies or hating himself. Terezi is weird and you don’t even know why Vriska ever shows up in their little get-togethers because only two people like her, but out of the whole mess the very, very worst person your roommate and half-roommate associated with was Sollux Captor.

You hated that bastard.

He had the most obnoxious laugh, all the social graces of a hyena on sopor, gross, mutated, vile yellow blood, and you didn’t care how mad or sweet his “haxx” were, he was too stupid to live. He was a smear on the society and you really, really just wanted to punch him in his smug face. You had once been waxing black for him, but you were an idiot new to the planet and now the thought of touching his body churned your stomach, even if the occasional glances he shot in your direction flustered you. That was just because you couldn’t stand the gall of someone like him staring at you. It was totally uncalled for and if you were on Alternia you’d be able to cull him for all the shit he said to you or did to you (or your computer), but Earth was a soft planet that didn’t look on “murder” very kindly. You didn’t see how getting rid of a few lowbloods was considered anything like murder, because you were just getting rid of weaker trolls running out of purpose. But whatever. Earth was stupid, and Captor was even more stupid then Earth. You didn’t think it was possible, but apparently Earth liked to prove you wrong.

But you didn’t have to deal with him for long. He’d fuck off soon enough, just like everyone else who ever tried to talk to you over the course of your shitty life.


End file.
